they call me the stray

I kinda get a thrill out of the fact that a lot of girls I would probably never ever talk to in person are such fans of my blog. Perplexing. How do I cash in on this? Haha.

Hey man, I don’t know what I did, but you’re very welcome. It was my honor, and I’d gladly do it again.

I can’t wait to introduce all my friends to my new girlfriend Some Random Girl I Don’t Know.

I replied “Heh heh… not right now.” that’s a dumb response. Not right now? What the hell is that? I never know quite how to respond when a girl I don’t find to be attractive hits on me (which kinda happens frequently, oddly) I could probably just say “Oh sorry, I have a girlfriend” or something, but I don’t lie very quickly when I’m put on the spot, and obviously I’m not going to be honest and say “Oh I’m very flattered but you are beneath my aesthetic standards, my apologies.” I’m not a monster afterall.

I wish I was a monster. With a tail. Well, actually I don’t really want to be a monster I just want the tail. I’d whip the shit out of people with my tail. Yeah.

Would you date a guy who had a tail? Be honest. Like a full on tail, like, Kurt Wagner. If you don’t have to google Kurt Wagner I think you’re the bee’s knees.

I don’t like fighting and I’ll avoid it as much as I can, I’ll kinda take a lot before I feel the need to fight someone. It’s not because I’m afraid of getting hurt though, I’m afraid of hurting someone. I have this fear that I’d accidentally kill someone or something, like they’d fall and land on their neck or something weird, and I’d be a murderer and go to jail and be raped in prison by everyone. Yeah. That’s my brain.

Also, fighting is kind of dumb and unnecessary 90% of the time.

HI! So, back at the library. Last night I decided to write a bunch of daily confessions, so I’m going to add those to the queue so there’ll be something on my blog. I also brought some animation I was going to upload, but apparently the files too big and this computer is too slow so it would take a bajillion hours and I don’t have a bajillion hours unfortunately. So I guess that’ll have to wait. Anywayyysss…

I keep wanting to write a confession about this one girl I met, but I keep feeling like even if I obscure all the details she’ll gleam that it’s about her. I guess it’s wishful thinking to think she is even aware of my blog and pays any attention to me at all. 

I gotta start thinking of some confessions that make me seem a bit cooler than this, haha.

Hey look! It’s me! Doing the Charlie Brown dance! Cool right?

What’s going on tumblr? You remember me right? Well if you don’t you really like me, trust me on this one.

I still have no internet, I type this from a public library at the moment. I honestly miss tumblr more than the rest of the internet, I enjoy doing my daily posts and interacting with you lovely folks. I’ve been super productive creatively during this internet hiatus though, drawing, finishing up scripts, working on animation, being generally awesome. My internet should probably be back on next week. Probably.

Oh and what’s up new followers? Thanks for following, I promise there will be more worth following in the near future.

Oh, and if you wanted to send some stuff to my inbox to respond to once I’m back… hey I’m not gonna stop ya. Anyway, I’ll talk to ya’llz later. Buh byes.

he talked to me for a few minutes, and I think he might’ve just been really stupid. *shrug*

Today I saw the most awkward pickup attempt. This guy asks a girl if he could use her phone. She obliges, and instead of making a call he logs on to his facebook on her phone, then asks her if she’s on facebook so he could add her. I chuckled to myself. She told him she was about to leave. And he’s like oh, okay, what’s your name on facebook? And she’s like I mean about to get up and leave right now. He’s like oh okay. He then proceeded to still use her phone for like 5 minutes checking stuff on facebook, then gave it back. He asked her how many tattoos she had, she said 16, he said 60? She said 16. He said 60? She said 16, he said oh, 16. Haha. Then she left after a couple of minutes.

Haha, what was that? First of all, I know I’m often out of the loop, but there’s no way it’s socially acceptable to ask a stranger for their phone to use facebook. That’s just rude. You borrow a stranger’s phone for emergencies, not to fucking check your facebook page and post a status update, “Creepin out this girl, on her phone right now, lol”. Poor girl, she seemed too meek to be like “Wtf, give me back my phone asshat.” I’m sure he thought he was being clever too, but that was the least smooth thing I’ve ever seen. What’s she supposed to say “Sure strange guy who I’ve never seen in my life, I’ll give you my first and last name so we can be friends on Facebook even though you haven’t even bothered to make small talk and get to know me and instead used trickery and deception to acquire my phone with the sole purpose of trying to add me as a friend. That’s perfectly reasonable.”

That reminds me of this one time I was on this bus, and this guy sees this girl and immediately goes to “Hey, can I get your number.” C’mon, really, that’s how you’re going to start off? Like people should just surrender their personal telephone numbers to anybody who verbally asks for it. The girl said no of course, and he asks why, and reasonably she says “I don’t KNOW you!” and he’s like “Well you could get to know me.” then her stop came and she got off, and he turned to ME and said something to the effect of “These bitches be actin stuck up.” and I said to him “Well you didn’t really give her a reason to give you her number.” and I swear I almost laughed in his face at the dumb look he made, like he couldn’t comprehend what I meant by “a reason”.

I’m not very smooth myself… not usually, but I understand you at least have to try get a girl to like talking to you before you try coercing them into giving you contact info to talk to them again.

One of my ex’s is married, and apparently she’s not very happy with him, and as a result she was trying to have an affair with me, which I declined because a) married ladies are a no-no, I don’t get down like that, and b) whether she was married or not I just wasn’t interested anymore. That ship already sailed, you know? More than once I told her in no uncertain terms that it would never happen, she acted cool with that, agreed we’d just be friends, but then later tried again. After the 3rd time I had to say no to her I saw no other choice but to tell her we shouldn’t talk anymore at all, ever again. I didn’t feel great about it, but it seemed like the best thing to do for her sake as well as mine. Haven’t heard from her since.

Despite that it still really bothers me that’s she’s unhappy with that guy, and I worry about her. What if she just finds someone else to cheat on him with and he finds out? Cheating on spouses is dangerous business, I know from watching True Crime channel.

You’re like WHOA, that guy is SEXY! Am I right? Calm your loins! I’m not here to amuse your nether regions.

Looks as though I may be internet-less for an indefinite amount of days, and I just wanted to let you know because I know how important I am to your life right now. Don’t fret. I mean, you can fret a little bit, but ya know, don’t get carried away with the fretting, keep it at moderate fret levels, because I’ll be back before you know it.

In the mean time, you’ll have to find another way to occupy yourselves. I don’t want you sitting there, refreshing my blog sleeplessly, that’s not healthy. Find a good book, watch a season of your favorite tv show on Netflix, take up competitive crocheting, whatever passes the time.

I will also sorta kinda miss you… in a way, I guess. But it’ll also be an opportunity for me to get some more things done without the constant distraction of Tumblr, and when I say “some more things done” I mean “caught up on Mad Men”. Maybe I’ll squeeze some art out during the short internet hiatus.

For the record I think you’re sexy too ;)