I have a pretty good vocabulary. English was always my favorite subject aside from art. I love words, for fun I used to read the dictionary and write down interesting words and give myself vocabulary tests. I’m that much of a nerd. I like using the most accurate word instead of the most common. For instance I’ve noticed that I’ll usually say “abhor” instead of “hate”, even though they’re close to the same thing abhor is slightly more accurate (when it comes to how I feel) because it doesn’t connote the same kind of anger or hostility. I love how nuanced words can be, I’m picky about using the right ones.
However, sometimes I dumb it down around some people out of fear of them thinking I’m pretentious, haha. I’ve actually had people roll their eyes at me because I used a “big” word. I’ve also been told I was “trying too hard”. Do I TRY to sound intelligent? Yeah. Why wouldn’t I? Shouldn’t everyone? I mean, to convey that you are intelligent and articulate isn’t a bad thing, right? These people are silly I know, and I know people will say “You shouldn’t care what people think.” and I don’t for the most part really, but I will pull back on the “big” words from time to time just because I know some will be distracted from what I’m trying to say by my weird newfangled words.
So, I’ve been very flattered by the response Maurice has gotten. I’m always glad when people like the things I do, but Maurice especially because he’s been with me such a long time. I’ve worked on him on and off for roughly a decade. I was newly enrolled in animation school and he was the first cartoon character I came up with after seeing a bush baby on tv. I’d never seen a bush baby cartoon character, and I like to do things that you don’t expect or see a lot of. So I did this sketch:
Sucks right? Haha, I’m not showing it for vanity’s sake. I just think some might be interested in seeing how it began in contrast to what he is now. Cartoony stuff was NOT my thing when I began drawing him, I was always more into just drawing more or less realistic, so I had no idea what I was doing with this. I decided he need to be cuter though, bigger head, smaller body, bigger eyes, etc.
In a lot of early drawings of Maurice he’s smoking. I don’t smoke. I kind of initially imagined him as a kind of surly type of dude who always had something sardonic to say and smoked cigarettes. A typical “edgy” kind of guy. That didn’t last long, over the years who he is has gone through a lot of changes, from surly smoker, to a mischievous punk, to a sarcastic gay guy, I really didn’t know who he was besides a bush baby, so there was nothing really informing his design, I was just throwing stuff to a wall and seeing what stuck. Eventually (inspired by Curb Your Enthusiasm) I decided to base Maurice more on myself, loosely, so he lost the cigarettes and became heterosexual.
I dug up all my old sketchbooks, so you’ll be seeing some more of early Maurice stuff in the following days. WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!
To compensate for my lack of other qualities ladies find appealing, like confidence, status, or being impressively good-looking. In the absence of those characteristics humor, irreverent honesty, slightly above average intelligence, and passable talents, while not necessarily making me seem like an immediate catch, does at least make me seem worthy of talking to, case in point, a very attractive young lady just did (you). With my foot in the door the laughter and stimulating conversation begins to make them associate me with feeling good, and if the proper amount of sexual tension is generated bingo bango bob’s you’re uncle access granted. In theory at least. That’s why I’m so funny.
A lot of people like to boastfully proclaim that they’ve done something “LIKE A BOSS!” Personally I like to be more honest with myself so I’ll instead say something like “LIKE A SUPERVISOR!”, or often more accurately “LIKE A LOW LEVEL EMPLOYEE!”.
Sometimes even “LIKE A JOB APPLICANT THAT DIDN’T GET A CALL BACK!”
When I was younger, I want to say about 14 maybe, I was hanging out with my cousin who was about 2 years older, and his 2 friends. They were all on a football team, and we had just come from their game. When I hung out with older kids I pretty much just said nothing unless someone asked me something. It’s just my nature to be very reserved around people who I feel aren’t like myself. These kids cursed, and talked about sex, and violence, and ditching and all kinds of other shenanigans. One of them told a story about how he got kicked out of class for flipping off the teacher. The other two thought this was very great. I thought it was stupid and disrespectful, but I kept that to myself and laughed about it. The point I’m trying to make was that I was a square, a timid square.
Later in that day we were walking around the apartment complex, and we went to go see if this girl they were friends with was home. She was, so we hung out with her, she was their age, or maybe even older it seems. She seemed a lot like them except… considerably more busty. I called them “bagongons” back them… I think I might bring that back, feel free to use it. She had huge bagongons, and if you know anything about teenage boys*, or boys of any age, you will know that they were intense eyeball magnets. They were like those huge U shaped magnets that Wyle E. Cyote used. Very powerful magnets. You try to be as inconspicuous as possible, but girls know. Apparently she didn’t mind at all though and thought it was funny/cute or something, with this mischievous grin on her face she grabbed me by the wrists and started to pull my hands towards her bagongons, I reflexively pulled back. She tried to pull them toward her bagongons again, and I again I resisted. She gave up. I IMMEDIATELY REGRETTED THIS DECISION! I was a kid, I’d never touched bagongons before, and like every boy my age I was obsessed with them, I very much wanted to touch bagongons. I can’t even explain why I resisted, it just seemed weird and it caught me off guard and my cousin and his friends were all looking at me like it was a big joke. They laughed and teased me for being scared, and the day went on, they all talked about random stuff and I just silently tagged along, secretly hoping I’d get another chance to touch those bagongons. It never came, and it’s not exactly like I could go “Hey, I think I’m ready to touch those bagongons now, sorry about earlier, I panicked.”
To this day I’m like “FUCK! JEFF YOU IDIOT!” They’re the bagongons that got away.
Created a 2nd blog for all the stuff I don’t feel like posting to my main blog; random stuff, reblogs, rants, etc. In the interest of keeping this blog focused on original content. If you want to follow it, cool, if you’re content just following this blog, also cool. Everything’s cool, man.
A few weeks ago I hugged my little brother (who is 7) so tight that when I let go of him he was crying cause I had hurt him. I FELT SO BAD! I had heard him whining while I was hugging him too, but I thought he was just being silly… so I hugged him EVEN TIGHTER and went “RAARRR! I’LL CRUSH YOUR BONES!” argh, I didn’t think I was hurting him, I still feel bad, haha, poor guy, I literallyloved him too much! I told him I was sorry a thousand times and gave him kisses on the forehead. I made it up to him with some ice cream.
And that’s how I learned that you can’t give little kids big man hugs, gotta pull back the reigns a little or you might crush them :(
I have a recurring nightmare where I have to save someone (usually my little brother, or someone else close) from being mauled by a large animal (lion, tiger, or bear) by sacrificing myself so they can run. In my dreams it’s always the only choice, I have to lunge at this animal that will definitely kill me. I always wake up before I’m harmed though.
I’m really sorry internet, but I’m generally not that amused by cats. Every now and then I’ll see a cat related picture that makes me giggle, but for the most part I’m like “A cat jumped in a box? Well whoopdeedo. Thanks for demanding I watch that youtube video, friend. Can I go back to what I was doing now?”
I was waiting for the bus, and I overheard this couple quietly having an argument. Apparently the guy was pretty angry about the fact that she had texts from some other dude in her phone that she apparently has a history with (or so I gleamed from little snippets of dialog). Actually it seemed like less of an argument and more of like admonishment and accusations, the girls seemed to not want to argue, she wasn’t saying much. I must admit I’m sort of a nosy person, I will definitely eavesdrop on other people’s drama, haha. I didn’t know the whole story, of course, but I felt kinda sorry for the girl, because I’ve been in the position of being on the opposite end of a jealous/suspicious person and it ended a relationship that was otherwise pretty awesome. Ohhh wellll.
Anyway, the bus came. She got on, the guy didn’t, I guess he was just waiting with her. I noticed the fact that they didn’t embrace or even look at each other for that matter, I didn’t catch any goodbyes either. That’s a pretty bad sign for a relationship when you don’t even look at each other when you part ways. When we were on the bus she kept intermittently glancing at me. I can never tell when someone is checking me out, or they’re just looking at me because I’m odd looking. I kinda just ignored her like I didn’t notice she was looking at me. I kinda wanted to say hello because was kinda cute, but I kept thinking that the guy she was talking to was a lot bigger than me, and he apparently he looks at her phone, besides even if she was perfectly single with no attached drama, I’m a bit of a coward when it comes to starting conversations with strangers. Plus I thought it might seem sleazy and opportunistic to try to hit on a girl who I just witnessed having relationship problems. What am I going to say “Hey, it seems like you might be in the market for a new boyfriend, winkity wink wink.” No, I didn’t say anything.
I eventually got off at my stop, and as the bus passed by I noticed she was turning her head to look at me, and I was like
No not really. I just stared back awkwardly.
I’m starting getting a little annoyed with myself for always being so rational, cautious and prudent. It’s directly affecting my ability to get laid, haha. Why can’t I just be like other guys who will seize any opportunity no matter what? I’m always imagining red flags and potential repercussions. Looking back at my life, the only times I’ve ever gotten involved with a girl is when they took the initiative and I just went with the flow. In other words I’ve been lucky that I haven’t spent all of my 27 years alone.
Although it feels counter-intuitive, I feel like I need to correct this behavior of mine to not take risks. That girl was a redhead too, haha.
Today I saw an old man in a wheelchair who was trying to get on the curb at an intersection, I almost walked past him because it looked like he had it under control, but then I noticed he was having some difficulty, so I helped him out, and asked him which direction he was going, then pointed him in the right direction. He said “God bless you young man.” I said no prob and gave him a piece sign (it’s reflex) and went on my way. Some woman in a car had saw the whole thing and yelled “You a good man! That was a good thing you did!” at me, I smiled. Continued walking.
I felt a little guilty because he was going the same direction I was, and I could’ve probably pushed him part of the way to wherever he was going. I don’t know why I didn’t ask, I guess because I was already a few feet away from him when I thought of it and had that lazy “ah it’s too late” feeling you get when you don’t want to stop moving forward? I will typically help people even if it’s an inconvenience, so I feel a little bad for not at least asking if he need more help.
I do not care much for summer. Never have. Mainly because I do not do well in heat at all. While for most people summer is a time for fun, for me it’s like “Ugh, here come the daily heat headaches.”
When I was a kid I had a heat stroke. I was in the 3rd grade, running around during recess, and I just remember feeling really bad then fainting, and waking up with my mom and other grown ups standing over me. Good times.
what is the most awkward thing you've ever witnessed?
Sorry this took me a while to get around to, but I couldn’t just answer this with one doodle, so here you go, you can click them to make the slightly bigger…
Long story short they’re now happily married. I kid.
I apologize for how incredibly inappropriate this looks, I felt embarrassed to even draw that, haha, but trust me it looked way more inappropriate in person. Oh man, I felt so sorry for both of them, I’m sure that was mutually extremely unpleasant, but I was holding in laughter so hard I was getting cramps in my face. She eventually was able to get up when the bus came to a stop. If it would have been me in the guy’s place I’m sure I probably would’ve just died then and there from extreme awkwardness.
Here’s my review. “Lemme just pop this cheeto in my mou-“
That was me throughout the movie, especially the last half. And no, the theater didn’t sell cheetos ;)
It was the most blockbustery blockbuster that ever blockbusted! I thought it was very very good. I like small artsy indie movies as much as the next pretentious cinephile, but I also really enjoy COOL LOOKING SHIT, and there was some shit that looked REALLY REALLY COOL in this movie. The last half of the movie is practically an all out action/effects orgy. Optimus Prime flying around fucking shit up, that huge tentacle robot thing crushing buildings, all kinds of robot on robot, human on robot, robot on human, human on human mayhem. It was bananas. Definitely one of the most fun things I’ve watched on a giant screen. And the story was not bad either believe it or not. The movie is long, but not any longer than most of the Harry Potter movies, and nowhere near as long as the LOTR movies. If you don’t think those are too long you shouldn’t think this is either, because it has more than enough action and amusement to balance the exposition and such.
I think it’s definitely the best of the 3, if you go watch this movie and you DON’T enjoy it, I’m not sure why you went to see it in the first place, because if over the top giant robot action doesn’t do it for you, you had no business going to a Transformers movie, haha. I’m not surprised movie critics are trashing it, it’s kind of beneath them to enjoy something that’s just pure popcorn fun, their inner children are dead, and they also have raging hate-boners when it comes to Bay. I’m tempted to write a more lengthy review, but that “read more” cut seems to never work when I put it, and I know nobody likes super long posts on their dash, so I’ll just wrap this post up now.
I didn’t see it in 3D, cause those tickets are as much as 2 tickets, but maybe I will the next time I see it, because I’m definitely going to watch it again before it’s out of theaters.
Am I the only one who finds it sorta weird that there seems to be a lot of movies with the theme of a man who’s wife died learning to move on and love again? The male widower finding resolution by replacing his wife seems to be a staple of cinema. It’s something I’ve seen a lot, the depressed or grumpy or reclusive widowed man, who by chance meets some happy-go-lucky woman who brings joy back to his life and/or gets him to open up. I don’t know how many I can think of off the top of my head but… Dan in Real Life, Smart People, Sleepless in Seattle, that’s what I can think of on the spot but I know I’ve seen it a thousand times.
What up wit dat? It’s as if there are a lot of screenwriters out there who aren’t totally content with their wives, living vicariously through movies. Just man-up and kill your wife dude! I know there are movies with women as widows too, but it seems to more often be men. Even when it’s not what the movie is about, men seem to often be widowers in film. Sometimes it’s a major plot point that their wife is dead, sometimes it’s just character background. Super 8, Inception, I Am Legend (it’s on tv right now and what got me thinking about this), and just about every other action hero. I’m sure you can think of more.
I think it’s mostly because of this stupid notion that if a man is still single by 30 that something is “wrong” with them. So like, in a way… a widower is the ideal single man, haha. They’ve proven they’re capable of love and commitment, and they’re not out there nailing everything that moves. They’re not single because something is wrong with them, it’s not their fault, their wife just died that’s all. Chicks dig dudes with dead wives. Don’t be the first one to marry a dude, ladies! You don’t want to end up being their starter wife that dies!
Kinda weird. I don’t think I’d want to get involved with someone with a dead spouse, it might feel like I’m competing with the memory of their dead husband… that or they probably killed him. The show Snapped has convinced me that the word spouse is just another word for potential murderer. Your husband died ay? In an “accident” ay? Uh huh, sure I believe you. *runs away*
I don’t know if I’ll ever get married, it’s not really something I envision for myself, but if I did, I imagine myself taking the Carl Fredrickson route and just growing old alone… then going on a crazy adventure where I bond with a young Asian boy. Either that, or taking the Gran Torino route, where I just grow old alone, bond with an Asian boy, and sacrifice my life to make my neighborhood safe. Whatever I do… I’m going to be old, alone, and there will be an Asian boy involved.
Art has been a passion of mine since I was very young, but the first thing I remember really wanting to be when I grew up, was a superhero. I didn’t really start wanting to be an artist til I realized that being a superhero was not an actual possibility. Bummer. Still a bummer. As a grown adult man it honestly still really bums me out on a serious level that it’s unlikely that I’ll ever have super powers. Notice how I said unlikely and not impossible, I’m not willing to completely give up hope JUST yet.
I’ve also actually given serious thought to the idea of becoming a vigilante. Like, actual contemplation about whether it was something I could actually do with my life, not just hypothetically. Of course I came to the conclusion that I would quickly be killed, hospitalized or arrested if I ever attempted such a thing. I’m no Bruce Wayne, I don’t have unlimited resources or special training. I always see these articles about real life “vigilantes”, and they’re always disappointing, because they don’t really do anything besides wander their neighborhood looking ridiculous and act like the street version of hall monitors. Whack! I want to hear about like a drug cartel busted up by a mysterious masked man. How amazing would it be if some comic book stuff happened in real life?
I guess I’ll just keep on hoping I’ll magically get super powers one day. Shut up, it can happen, you don’t know!
When it comes to things like the ghosts and the paranormal, I consider myself an “open-minded skeptic”. I neither believe or disbelieve, that’s kinda how I feel about most things that have yet to be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. I have a general “I’m not convinced yet, but who knows?” attitude, but I tend to feel that there’s probably a rational explanation for things people conclude are supernatural. I think a lot of people are more inclined to believe fantastical things because by nature humans have to have an explanation for things or they feel very uncomfortable, they forget how limited our knowledge can be. I’m saying this because I just want to establish how my logic works before I tell you what I experienced one time, so you don’t assume I’m a person who just naturally assumes the extraordinary. Or believes in ghost stories.
This was many years ago now. I had just begun going to art school, I lived with my mother. It was just us two, my two brothers were at the time living with our dad, and she worked nights so I’d be home alone most nights. If I had been a cool person maybe I would’ve had girls over, or parties or something, but I wasn’t cool, I was me. I spent my nights alone with junk food and cable television, or hanging out in chatrooms, or downloading porn with napster (is napster even a thing anymore? do people under 25 know what I’m talking about?), or some times cranking some Rage Against the Machine and pretending I’m Zack De La Rocha (I had the hair to match back then too). This particular night it was junk food and tv. I had bought a huge pack of cookies and a 2-liter of soda and getting ready to watch Conan like I did ever night. I watched Conan, laughing with a mouth full of chocolate chip cookies, taking lengthy swigs of soda. As you can imagine when you down a 2-liter soda by yourself you eventually have to urinate like a thoroughbred.
What I’m going to describe was only a few seconds, but it seems like the longest few seconds I ever experienced, and I remember it so clearly. I got up, went to my bedroom door, flicked on the lights in my room, opened my door to illuminate the hallway enough to get to the bathroom without bumping into anything in the pitch black darkness that was my tiny apartment. Normally I would’ve just proceeded to the bathroom to relieve myself, but as soon as I opened that door I had a vague sense that something wasn’t right. I just stood there for a moment, staring. My shadow. Something about my shadow against the wall, seemed weird. It seemed off, like it wasn’t my shadow. It didn’t look like my head, the body didn’t seem like my build, I couldn’t make out the indications of my clothing, and there was something… not human about it, it’s hard to explain. I also had the feeling that I was being looked at. This was all very vague in my head in this moment, I wasn’t making any particular connections. All I felt was “Why do I feel weird, and why does my shadow look so odd?” then I noticed that my shadow was on the floor in front of me, and it looked fine. I had a brief moment of “waitaminute”… If I only have one light source behind me on the ceiling, how can my shadow be on the floor AND on the wall, that just didn’t seem… my eyes darted back to where the shadow on the wall was, and in the blink of an eye it moved into the darkness, so quickly that I barely registered it. There was no shadow there anymore, where I was once looking at a shadow. NOW… I’m not expert about how light works, perhaps I have a decent knowledge of it from loosely learning about it as an artist, but by no means an expert… but I’m PRETTY SURE that if an object doesn’t move and it’s light source does not move, that it shadow definitely does not move either. That much I KNOW. It’s hard to describe how I felt in that moment. Fear, yes. Confusion, yes. But there was this other feeling, this “oh shit, something weird is REAL!” feeling. Mostly fear though, I felt that burning/sinking feeling in your chest you get when you’re just not ready for something to shock you.
I cancelled my bathroom visit, no matter how much I had to pee. I closed the door. Went and set back down on my bed. Replayed what I’d just experienced in my head over and over. That’s probably why I remember it so well, because I ran it in my mind constantly for the next few days. I couldn’t make sense of it. Did I just see a… shadow… person? Being the rational skeptical person that I am. I tried to think of other explanations. It was only a brief moment in the hallway, who knows what I saw. It could’ve just been pareidolia, humans natural tendency to interpret shapes they don’t understand as human or something else familiar. That’s why so many people see virgin Mary in tortillas and what not. Maybe a fly landed on the lightbulb or something? Would that have created a weird shadow big as a human on the wall that in a brief moment I interpreted as human? I’ve since tested this theory by taping tiny things to a lightbulb and it didn’t produce any such effect. Maybe I was just crazy. Sometimes people are just crazy right? I had consumed a lot of sugar, I was probably tired, perhaps my mind was playing tricks on me? I don’t know. What I do know is that I was too freaked out to leave my room that night, so I peed in my empty soda bottle.
After a while I forgot about it. Then years later I saw this movie called The Mothman Prophecies, with Richard Gere. In the movie people describe seeing a weird shadowy winged figure with glowing red eyes, not really anything like what I experienced, but it reminded me of my experience and the film was based on true accounts so I decided to look into it. Reading about the “mothman” led to reading about a phenomena lots of people report experiencing called none other than “shadow people”. Apparently a lot of people have experienced seeing what they perceived as shadowy figures, usually for a brief moment out of the corner of their eyes.
How my account differs from most people’s is that it wasn’t peripheral vision, I was looking dead at it for a moment. Scientists say it can be an illusion created when the left temporoparietal junction (some shit in your brain?) is stimulated, the temporoparietal junction is also linked to out of body experiences which I’ve also experienced so… maybe there’s something to that? I really don’t know. I’m not going to jump to any conclusions.
I experienced something weird that night, that I can’t exactly explain. The weirdest part though, is I later brought it up to my mom, and matter-of-factly she just said “Oh yeah, that apartment was haunted.” as if she already knew all about it.