they call me the stray

So, I’ll be 29 on Friday. When people find out my age they’re usually like “Whaat? I thought you were like… 19!”

Here’s what I looked like when I was actually 19 ten years ago:

Sorry about how dumb this picture looks (I can’t find another one), back then I had to wait til I got my disposable camera pictures back from Rite-Aid to see if they looked stupid or not (they did), as opposed to now where I have the luxury of a digital camera where I can take and delete a hundred pictures of myself until I get one that doesn’t make me totally hate my face.

This is what I look like now, today:

Half of my face cropped off and making a puppy dog face for consistency. I guess I look basically the same age as 10 years ago. Maybe 30% more sexy though, at least. Sadly, my facial hair has not surpassed slight cheek and chin fuzz. I thought I’d have a full glorious mustache and beard by now, oh well :( Also, I have not gained or lost a pound since then, I’m still 140lbs on the dot. I might be immortal?

I feel very weird about approaching 30. In my head 30 is the age where people think you should have your shit together, and my shit is all over the place so-to-speak. So I guess have about another year left to wrangle all this shit into one pile of togetherness, haha. Woo boy.

END OF BLOG POST!

I usually make some variation of this face a lot when I’m thinking, and apparently to other people I look sad or bothered or something, because I’m always getting “Are you okay?” or “What’s wrong?” I gotta practice not furrowing my brow when I’m thinking.

I’m usually just thinking about writing a letter to my favorite cookie company telling them they should make a new peanut butter cookie with chocolate chips in it.

Grainy Gif made by using Export:

Smoother gif made by using the Publish Settings

The cool thing is that the smoother better looking gif is actually a much smaller filesize than the grainy gif. I had to make the grainy gif a lot smaller just to get it to animate.

So… hooray!

The only problem is that using that method has removed the blurryness of the smoke and the flickering of the cigarette light that I added. I don’t know what’s up with that. Guess I have that to figure out now.

I’m not a crybaby. I’m a cryMAN!

THIS IS A REAL THING! THIS IS A REAL THING THAT TAKES ITSELF SERIOUSLY! SEE FOR YOURSELF: http://www.foreskinman.com/index.htm

It’s a comic by people who are anti-circumcision, who think it’s a brutal and needless mutilation. The titular character Foreskin Man goes around preventing circumcisions.

Now look, I’m not going to get into whether circumcision is right or wrong, and please don’t tell me how you feel about it because I truly don’t care and won’t respond to it. I just want to talk about how crazy this comic is.

Miles Hartwick is a guy who has superpowers (flight and perhaps super strength it seems). What does he do with them? Save lives and stop crimes? Nope. He uses them SOLELY to thwart circumcisions. That’s it and that’s all. Look Foreskin Man, I appreciate that this is an important issue to you, but with great power comes great responsibility. You have these amazing powers and there are people out there being murdered and raped and suffering all sorts of other injustices, and you’re basically like “Whatever dude, if it doesn’t have to do with a baby’s penis skin it’s not important to me”. Also, come on… “Foreskin Man”? You’re going to call yourself Foreskin Man? It sounds more like you’re either made out of foreskin or have foreskin based powers, I don’t know which of those is more disturbing.

One of Foreskin Man’s archenemies is a doctor hellbent on circumcising babies who… for some reason… turns into a monster to perform the circumcisions. What the hell is the point of him turning into a monster if he’s still just going to do a circumcision? Monsters EAT babies, they don’t perform minor surgical procedures on them. Total waste of a monster transformation.

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