This one time I was on a date (a rare occurence), and we were just sitting on a bench chattin, and I was eating these white chocolate pretzel things, and I was thoroughly enjoying them, she was kinda just sitting there quietly. Then I was about to say something along the lines of “Hey, I don’t really like pretzels but these are pretty good.” but she interrupted me with a kiss, and it was kinda weird and awkward, ideally I don’t want to be kissed when my mouth is open and I have food in it, but on the other hand, hey a girl decided to kiss me I shouldn’t complain. For a moment though I didn’t know what to do, do I finish chewing these goodies, or do I return her advances? So for this indecisive moment she had her lips on my open crummy pretzel filled mouth. Then a jaguar appeared out of nowhere and mauled her to death. I spend every day cursing fate now. WHY DIDN’T YOU TAKE ME JAGUAR!? WHY? *weeps*

R.I.P. that girl.

…okay so maybe I embellished that story a little bit, it was getting kinda boring towards the end.