One time I was coming out of a 7-11 and noticed a crumpled empty little bottle of Extenze laying on the ground. If you ever stayed up late watching Comedy Central until it switched to infomercials then you know Extenze are pills for that “certain part of the male anatomy” as they like to put it, and now it comes in a liquid form that you can buy at the counter at 7-11.

So, someone went into 7-11, bought Extenze, drank it IMMEDIATELY and discarded the bottle on the ground. To me there is only one likely explanation for this… someone had a BONER EMERGENCY.

“Not a moment to waste!” he probably exclaimed the second before he gulped down that Extenze mid stride and flung the bottle behind him as he barreled through double doors. He hopped into his vehicle and flew out of the parking lot with his foot on the gas weaving erratically through traffic all the while muttering to himself “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, C’MON GODDAMIT!” one hand on the steering wheel, the other hand… elsewhere.

Did he get his so desired boner? Was it too late by time he got it? I guess we’ll never know.