Remember when Usher first came out, and he used to wear those goggles over a beanie?

Yeah… I totally did that. One of my many short-lived teen fashion choices. I also used to wear big windbreaker pants that effing swish swish swished everywhere I went. God, not only did I look ridiculous but I also SOUNDED ridiculous. Oh to be young! And foolish.

That’s still one of my favorite R&B albums though…

“I’ve got plaaaans to put my hands in places I’ve never seen girl you know what I mean!”

He meant her vagina, right? God I HOPE that’s what he meant.

“They call me U-S, H-E-R, R-A, Y-M, O-N-D… sobabytellmewhatyouwannadowitme”

Wait, what? They call you… Us Her Ra Ym Ond? Us Herra Ymond? Ush Erray Mond? USHER RAYMOND! GOT IT! Man, it would’ve been a lot easier for you to just say your name like a normal person instead spelling it in short disjointed fragments. As for what I wanna do wit you, I don’t know, how about you just take me to a place nice and quiet, where there ain’t no one there interrupt? Ain’t gotta rush, I just wanna take it nice and slow.

Am I the only one who’s always imagining the other side songs? Like, maybe she’s into all this stuff, but she could just as easily be like “This dude is creeping me out, we’re on a first date, I barely know him and he’s telling me he’s going to drive me to a secluded area and finger me. I don’t feel safe.”

Listen to any love/sex song and imagine that whoever they’re singing to is not interested at all, and suddenly the lyrics will sound really scary.

END OF BLOG POST!