June 1st, it is my birthiversary (or “birthday” as the rest of the human race likes to say).

It is also the birthiversaries of fictional characters Don Draper and Oscar the Grouch.

When I think about it, I’m kind of a middle ground between those two. I’m a handsome charismatic smart filthy dirty bum. I’m very sexy human garbage. I dress nice and I live in a garbage can. I have many sordid affairs with beautiful women and my friends are giant talking anthropomorphic animals and monsters. I’m very respected in my chosen profession, and I have green fur all over my body.

That’s me. Draper the Grouch.

Anyway, since it’s my birthiversary you are now welcome to shower me with love and compliments, while I go shower myself with water and soap to get this rubbish smell off.

END OF BLOG POST!