I just learned, thanks to one of my brothers… that I’m NOT 29… I’m 28. Hahahaha, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!?! How did this happen??? At first I was like “No, I’m 29.” and he’s like “You’re not 29 stupid, you’re 28. Because I’m four years younger than you and that would make me 25.” and I’m like “Whatever, I know my own age.” and he’s like “What’s 2012 minus 1984?” and sure enough it’s 28. Goddam my brain. This is honestly the stupidest I’ve ever felt in my life, I forgot my age, then started thinking the wrong age, and that stuck with me for the majority of the year. I shouldn’t be surprised because historically I’m bad at remembering dates and numbers or doing any kind of math in my head. But my own age? That’s… I… um… I guess all this time I’ve secretly been the dumbest of all people?

On the positive side, I guess this is the best possible birthday present a person can ever get, to not get a year older.

Holy shit, Alzheimers is setting in early. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME!

p.s. thanks again everyone for the birthday wishes. I would’ve preferred gifts, money, or sexual favors, but hey, it’s the thought that counts.

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