thestray:

Coming soon to an upper lip near you: Mustache!

It’s my destiny.

A wise man once told me “If you want to grow a thick full mustache, before you go to bed every night just visualize guys you know who have really full mustaches, like Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds, etc. Visualize it every night, and it will start to manifest… that’s how my penis got so big.” “…You… visualized big penises every night?”

Oh “cousin” Rudy, I miss that guy.

I still don’t have a mustache :/

Will anybody ever love my dumb mustacheless face?