Deep masculine country voice "Deep in the Apalachian mountains, (men holding torches in the dark walking down a mountain) home to more monster sightins than anywhere else in tha world. (a torch illuminates a mysterious footprint) A brave team o’ men heads out on the hunt. (the CGI tail of a monster disappears into a pond) The only question that remains is… (a bunch of guys running around with torches in the dark shouting and being very bewildered) Who’s… (running and yelling) Hunting… (some idiot falls down) Who? (“we could be on the menu” says a guy in a southern drawl) Mountain Monsters! all new season Friday at 10/9 central”
That’s a commercial I keep seeing, I know there are a lot of shitty reality tv shows on, but c’mon… how is this possibly a show that somehow has more than one season? I’m assuming that they have never been successful because I think I would’ve seen it mentioned on the news that “Breaking, monsters are fucking real wtf holy shit.” It makes me so sad that there are enough people compelled to watch a bunch of country folk run around the forest and NEVER SEE OR CATCH A MONSTER EVER! I mean, my hats off to these dudes for figuring out how to get paid to hold guns and torches at night (they don’t have flashlight technology apparently), that’s a truly baller move. But c’mon America, what are we doing? If you really believe there are monsters out there I could see you humoring this show for one season, but after a whole season of 0 monsters, what are we doing? Either there are no monsters in the Apalachians or these dudes just suck ass at catching monsters, so like, it shouldn’t be a show anymore. America, baby… look at me… c’mon, what are you doing, stop.