I'm Stray, or Jeff if you want to get familiar. I'm an artist, music maker, aspiring writer, goofball, geek, nerd, and dork. I design graphics for t-shirts for money.

This blog is mainly for my own artwork. I also make daily confessions and daily music posts.

Art posted in my blog is mine unless otherwise noted.

Other places you can find me on the internet:

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Deep masculine country voice "Deep in the Apalachian mountains, (men holding torches in the dark walking down a mountain) home to more monster sightins than anywhere else in tha world. (a torch illuminates a mysterious footprint) A brave team o’ men heads out on the hunt. (the CGI tail of a monster disappears into a pond) The only question that remains is… (a bunch of guys running around with torches in the dark shouting and being very bewildered) Who’s… (running and yelling) Hunting… (some idiot falls down) Who? (“we could be on the menu” says a guy in a southern drawl) Mountain Monsters! all new season Friday at 10/9 central”
That’s a commercial I keep seeing, I know there are a lot of shitty reality tv shows on, but c’mon… how is this possibly a show that somehow has more than one season? I’m assuming that they have never been successful because I think I would’ve seen it mentioned on the news that “Breaking, monsters are fucking real wtf holy shit.” It makes me so sad that there are enough people compelled to watch a bunch of country folk run around the forest and NEVER SEE OR CATCH A MONSTER EVER! I mean, my hats off to these dudes for figuring out how to get paid to hold guns and torches at night (they don’t have flashlight technology apparently), that’s a truly baller move. But c’mon America, what are we doing? If you really believe there are monsters out there I could see you humoring this show for one season, but after a whole season of 0 monsters, what are we doing? Either there are no monsters in the Apalachians or these dudes just suck ass at catching monsters, so like, it shouldn’t be a show anymore. America, baby… look at me… c’mon, what are you doing, stop.

Deep masculine country voice "Deep in the Apalachian mountains, (men holding torches in the dark walking down a mountain) home to more monster sightins than anywhere else in tha world. (a torch illuminates a mysterious footprint) A brave team o’ men heads out on the hunt. (the CGI tail of a monster disappears into a pond) The only question that remains is… (a bunch of guys running around with torches in the dark shouting and being very bewildered) Who’s… (running and yelling) Hunting… (some idiot falls down) Who? (“we could be on the menu” says a guy in a southern drawl) Mountain Monsters! all new season Friday at 10/9 central”

That’s a commercial I keep seeing, I know there are a lot of shitty reality tv shows on, but c’mon… how is this possibly a show that somehow has more than one season? I’m assuming that they have never been successful because I think I would’ve seen it mentioned on the news that “Breaking, monsters are fucking real wtf holy shit.” It makes me so sad that there are enough people compelled to watch a bunch of country folk run around the forest and NEVER SEE OR CATCH A MONSTER EVER! I mean, my hats off to these dudes for figuring out how to get paid to hold guns and torches at night (they don’t have flashlight technology apparently), that’s a truly baller move. But c’mon America, what are we doing? If you really believe there are monsters out there I could see you humoring this show for one season, but after a whole season of 0 monsters, what are we doing? Either there are no monsters in the Apalachians or these dudes just suck ass at catching monsters, so like, it shouldn’t be a show anymore. America, baby… look at me… c’mon, what are you doing, stop.

I randomly remembered a movie I saw a long time ago with two buff twin brothers with mullets, so I googled “movie buff twins with mullets”, and sure enough the first result was the movie Double Trouble, exactly the movie I was thinking of, and it happens to be on youtube in full. In summation, the internet is pretty cool, because I just would’ve been on my death bed like “Son, I love you, you must carry on my legacy, find out with that one movie was with the two buff brothers who have mullets is, find it son!” Dead.

I randomly remembered a movie I saw a long time ago with two buff twin brothers with mullets, so I googled “movie buff twins with mullets”, and sure enough the first result was the movie Double Trouble, exactly the movie I was thinking of, and it happens to be on youtube in full. In summation, the internet is pretty cool, because I just would’ve been on my death bed like “Son, I love you, you must carry on my legacy, find out with that one movie was with the two buff brothers who have mullets is, find it son!” Dead.

Saw the cult classic They Live for the first time this weekend, and my first thought was man I wish those aliens existed so I could cash in on one of those sweet sell-out the human race deals. I”d totally align myself with the alien overlords for instant wealth. Like I wouldn’t even really waver on that decision. If my choices are die fighting aliens, or just be a rich person, gotta go with rich person.
If you haven’t seen it I guess look it up on wiki or something so you know what the hell I’m talking about. I recommend it, especially if you want to see Roddy Piper and Keith David fight in an alley for what seems like forever.

Saw the cult classic They Live for the first time this weekend, and my first thought was man I wish those aliens existed so I could cash in on one of those sweet sell-out the human race deals. I”d totally align myself with the alien overlords for instant wealth. Like I wouldn’t even really waver on that decision. If my choices are die fighting aliens, or just be a rich person, gotta go with rich person.

If you haven’t seen it I guess look it up on wiki or something so you know what the hell I’m talking about. I recommend it, especially if you want to see Roddy Piper and Keith David fight in an alley for what seems like forever.

Been kinda depressed lately, but this lady person has been really nice to me, and I really like nice ladies, they lift my spirits.
Kudos to you nice ladies of the world!

Been kinda depressed lately, but this lady person has been really nice to me, and I really like nice ladies, they lift my spirits.

Kudos to you nice ladies of the world!

So, I had the worse nightmare of my entire life.
It’s kind of weird to explain but I’ll give it a shot. I don’t remember exactly how but I ended up in this weird dimension. It was like being on an alien planet, everything was weird colors, and there were these weird small little creatures, but they were cool and could speak English. I was super hungry so I asked one of them where I could get food, but the only thing to eat in this dimension were these globs of goo that smelled really bad. I told one of these alien dudes I was lost here and I needed to get back home, and he escorted me to “The Master”, who was another human guy. The Master was this eccentric handsome scientist guy, like, imagine Robin Williams but looks like Brad Pitt. I tell this scientist guy I’m from a different reality, and my memory of this part of the dream is kind of incomprehensible but ostensibly he tells me that he and I are trapped in this dimension for eternity because of something some other evil scientist did. It’s impossible to leave, I’m stuck in this weird world forever. It all sounds really weird and absurd but my emotions felt really real and it was devastating, I was never going to see anyone I ever loved or cared about ever again, my family and friends will think I’m missing presumed dead and be distraught, I won’t even get to experience normal human things like food and tv and music and books. Literally worse than being dead. All this was starting to sink in. Then I woke up. I’ve never felt more relieved. I kept saying “Oh my God” over and over, and then my dog came and jumped in my lap and I looked at him and just started crying because he was real and there and I thought I was never going to see him again. It was a weird fucked up dream.
Dreams, you be whack sometimes, for real.
Alright, good talk.

So, I had the worse nightmare of my entire life.

It’s kind of weird to explain but I’ll give it a shot. I don’t remember exactly how but I ended up in this weird dimension. It was like being on an alien planet, everything was weird colors, and there were these weird small little creatures, but they were cool and could speak English. I was super hungry so I asked one of them where I could get food, but the only thing to eat in this dimension were these globs of goo that smelled really bad. I told one of these alien dudes I was lost here and I needed to get back home, and he escorted me to “The Master”, who was another human guy. The Master was this eccentric handsome scientist guy, like, imagine Robin Williams but looks like Brad Pitt. I tell this scientist guy I’m from a different reality, and my memory of this part of the dream is kind of incomprehensible but ostensibly he tells me that he and I are trapped in this dimension for eternity because of something some other evil scientist did. It’s impossible to leave, I’m stuck in this weird world forever. It all sounds really weird and absurd but my emotions felt really real and it was devastating, I was never going to see anyone I ever loved or cared about ever again, my family and friends will think I’m missing presumed dead and be distraught, I won’t even get to experience normal human things like food and tv and music and books. Literally worse than being dead. All this was starting to sink in. Then I woke up. I’ve never felt more relieved. I kept saying “Oh my God” over and over, and then my dog came and jumped in my lap and I looked at him and just started crying because he was real and there and I thought I was never going to see him again. It was a weird fucked up dream.

Dreams, you be whack sometimes, for real.

Alright, good talk.

Last night I just walked around my apartment with a notepad making a list of all the things that would be useful in a zombie apocalypse. Because I am a crazy person. I think there’s a lot of good things that will aide in my survival. Then I ended up thinking way too long about what outfit I’m going to wear. Look if I’m going to have to wear one thing for who knows how long you better believe I’m gonna want to look good. Other survivors are going to be like “Wow, very classy and elegant.” when they come across my dead corpse.

Last night I just walked around my apartment with a notepad making a list of all the things that would be useful in a zombie apocalypse. Because I am a crazy person. I think there’s a lot of good things that will aide in my survival. Then I ended up thinking way too long about what outfit I’m going to wear. Look if I’m going to have to wear one thing for who knows how long you better believe I’m gonna want to look good. Other survivors are going to be like “Wow, very classy and elegant.” when they come across my dead corpse.

I was on the bus and I saw an overweight caucasian male with a 7-11 employee shirt on reading a bible, his name tag said “Don”. I just felt like I was looking at America.

I was on the bus and I saw an overweight caucasian male with a 7-11 employee shirt on reading a bible, his name tag said “Don”. I just felt like I was looking at America.

I was standing in line at the line standing store, and this lady in front of me had these 2 little rambunctious kids (btw super proud of myself for spelling rambunctious correctly on the first shot) that were being little rambunctious kids. They were a boy and a girl, and I’m not good at ages but I’d say they were about 3 to 4. For whatever reason the boy started crying, and the mom was like “You’re a girl.” and he was like “No I’m not! I’m a boy!” and she was like “No, you’re a girl.” and he was like “I’m a boy!” and she was like “You’re crying like a girl so you must be a girl.” And I was just watching like holy shit, this is exactly how people become fucked up. It’s like I’m witnessing the genesis of these two individuals deeply ingrained issues. It’s terrible for the boy to learn that having emotions is a feminine quality and something to be ashamed of, and just as terrible for the girl to see “you’re a girl” be used to shame a boy, as if what she is is inherently inferior. I can only hope that they unlearn that shit later down the line.
I feel like everywhere I look people are just being super shitty parents turning their kids into eventually shitty adults most likely. It deeply worries me.
ALRIGHT GOOD TALK! I LOVE YOU!

I was standing in line at the line standing store, and this lady in front of me had these 2 little rambunctious kids (btw super proud of myself for spelling rambunctious correctly on the first shot) that were being little rambunctious kids. They were a boy and a girl, and I’m not good at ages but I’d say they were about 3 to 4. For whatever reason the boy started crying, and the mom was like “You’re a girl.” and he was like “No I’m not! I’m a boy!” and she was like “No, you’re a girl.” and he was like “I’m a boy!” and she was like “You’re crying like a girl so you must be a girl.” And I was just watching like holy shit, this is exactly how people become fucked up. It’s like I’m witnessing the genesis of these two individuals deeply ingrained issues. It’s terrible for the boy to learn that having emotions is a feminine quality and something to be ashamed of, and just as terrible for the girl to see “you’re a girl” be used to shame a boy, as if what she is is inherently inferior. I can only hope that they unlearn that shit later down the line.

I feel like everywhere I look people are just being super shitty parents turning their kids into eventually shitty adults most likely. It deeply worries me.

ALRIGHT GOOD TALK! I LOVE YOU!

So I had a job interview the other day, and I was waiting in the lobby and the receptionist was like “He’ll be with you in a moment.” and in my mind I was like “He? Shit.” and I realized the fact that it would be a man made me more nervous. But then the man ended up not being able to come so I was interviewed by a woman instead, and I was relieved. These were sorta unconscious feelings. But I thought about why I was having that knee-jerk reaction and I realized that any time I’ve been interviewed by a man I didn’t get the job, and when I’ve been interviewed by a woman I have. This interview with the woman went well, supporting the pattern. If I was an arrogant type I could just conclude that I am just very charming to women, but honestly I just think authoritative males intimidate me. They’re all serious and straight-faced and emotionless, and they look me in the eye for way too long and I get super nervous. But the women I’ve been interviewed by they smile and are nice and they laugh, etc, you know, like human beings. 
So… those are some words I just typed. Alright good talk.

So I had a job interview the other day, and I was waiting in the lobby and the receptionist was like “He’ll be with you in a moment.” and in my mind I was like “He? Shit.” and I realized the fact that it would be a man made me more nervous. But then the man ended up not being able to come so I was interviewed by a woman instead, and I was relieved. These were sorta unconscious feelings. But I thought about why I was having that knee-jerk reaction and I realized that any time I’ve been interviewed by a man I didn’t get the job, and when I’ve been interviewed by a woman I have. This interview with the woman went well, supporting the pattern. If I was an arrogant type I could just conclude that I am just very charming to women, but honestly I just think authoritative males intimidate me. They’re all serious and straight-faced and emotionless, and they look me in the eye for way too long and I get super nervous. But the women I’ve been interviewed by they smile and are nice and they laugh, etc, you know, like human beings.

So… those are some words I just typed. Alright good talk.

Recently someone told me they thought I was 16, and another person told me they thought I was 17. I am going to be 30 this year. Sorry Kenneth Edmonds, I’m going to have to commandeer that nickname of yours!
People of a certain demographic may have to Google Kenneth Edmonds to understand my very good joke.

Recently someone told me they thought I was 16, and another person told me they thought I was 17. I am going to be 30 this year. Sorry Kenneth Edmonds, I’m going to have to commandeer that nickname of yours!

People of a certain demographic may have to Google Kenneth Edmonds to understand my very good joke.

So I was walking my dog, and I saw one of the neighbor boys, who’s about 5 or 6, sitting outside of his house crying. Nobody was around so I figured I better see if he’s okay or needs help or something. I asked him if he’s okay and he shook his head no. I asked him what happened but he didn’t really say anything because he doesn’t speak English too well. So I knocked on the door of the house to see if anybody is home. Another little boy opened the door, his brother, who is around the same age. I asked if their parents or an adult was home. There was a bit of a language barrier. A little girl who was about 7, holding a baby, came to the door, I asked her if there were any adults home, and she understood. They went to another room and started telling their dad someone was at the door. I probably like waited like 3 minutes, until a groggy looking dude finally lumbers out of the room in a tanktop and boxers. I tell him his son was outside crying outside by himself, and he’s like “Que paso?” to his kid in an annoyed tone. My spanish isn’t great, but I gathered that some boy messed with him or something. I tell the guy I just wanted to make sure he was okay and he thanks me and calls the kid inside.
Later in the day I go to the store and I walk by and the kid is again outside alone, he’s not crying this time though, he’s playing with a toy keyboard. But it just strikes me as odd that there are 3 other kids just chilling inside and he’s by himself. My brothers and I didn’t always get along, but no matter what there was no way one of us would be outside crying alone, if someone messed with one of us they messed with all of us. So it really bummed me out that this kid’s siblings were inside not giving a shit at all about their brother. I also didn’t like the dad’s attitude, seemed 0% concerned, and 100% annoyed. It sucks when kids don’t have any support. I hope it makes that kid incredibly self-reliant though.
Good luck tiny child! You’ll be okay probably I hope!

So I was walking my dog, and I saw one of the neighbor boys, who’s about 5 or 6, sitting outside of his house crying. Nobody was around so I figured I better see if he’s okay or needs help or something. I asked him if he’s okay and he shook his head no. I asked him what happened but he didn’t really say anything because he doesn’t speak English too well. So I knocked on the door of the house to see if anybody is home. Another little boy opened the door, his brother, who is around the same age. I asked if their parents or an adult was home. There was a bit of a language barrier. A little girl who was about 7, holding a baby, came to the door, I asked her if there were any adults home, and she understood. They went to another room and started telling their dad someone was at the door. I probably like waited like 3 minutes, until a groggy looking dude finally lumbers out of the room in a tanktop and boxers. I tell him his son was outside crying outside by himself, and he’s like “Que paso?” to his kid in an annoyed tone. My spanish isn’t great, but I gathered that some boy messed with him or something. I tell the guy I just wanted to make sure he was okay and he thanks me and calls the kid inside.

Later in the day I go to the store and I walk by and the kid is again outside alone, he’s not crying this time though, he’s playing with a toy keyboard. But it just strikes me as odd that there are 3 other kids just chilling inside and he’s by himself. My brothers and I didn’t always get along, but no matter what there was no way one of us would be outside crying alone, if someone messed with one of us they messed with all of us. So it really bummed me out that this kid’s siblings were inside not giving a shit at all about their brother. I also didn’t like the dad’s attitude, seemed 0% concerned, and 100% annoyed. It sucks when kids don’t have any support. I hope it makes that kid incredibly self-reliant though.

Good luck tiny child! You’ll be okay probably I hope!

My friend sent me a link to a graphic novel they thought I should check out (Just So Happens by Fumio Obata) and I logged in and tried to add it to my wish list, but it told me I needed to create a wishlist, and I was like wait what? I have a wishlist! It’s pretty extensive! I thought maybe I logged in wrong but nope, same e-mail and password, just all my stuff was gone. Genuine panic started to settle in. Nooooooooooo! My Amazon wishliiiiisssssst!!!
Then I realized it was amazon.co.uk and not amazon.com, and I logged in to my proper account and all was right with the world, crisis averted. For a moment there I thought the earth was about to tilt off it’s axis and send me flying into space (I know it probably doesn’t work like that, I never claimed to be a Neil De Grasse Tyson).
Ah my sweet sweet amazon wishlist, that eclectic assortment of comics, martial arts movies and clothes for dogs.

My friend sent me a link to a graphic novel they thought I should check out (Just So Happens by Fumio Obata) and I logged in and tried to add it to my wish list, but it told me I needed to create a wishlist, and I was like wait what? I have a wishlist! It’s pretty extensive! I thought maybe I logged in wrong but nope, same e-mail and password, just all my stuff was gone. Genuine panic started to settle in. Nooooooooooo! My Amazon wishliiiiisssssst!!!

Then I realized it was amazon.co.uk and not amazon.com, and I logged in to my proper account and all was right with the world, crisis averted. For a moment there I thought the earth was about to tilt off it’s axis and send me flying into space (I know it probably doesn’t work like that, I never claimed to be a Neil De Grasse Tyson).

Ah my sweet sweet amazon wishlist, that eclectic assortment of comics, martial arts movies and clothes for dogs.

I like that Wendy’s commercial where that guy is embarrassed that he can’t make cool rhymes with his egg salad like the people eating ciabattas. I don’t know about you but that’s one of the most important factors when I’m choosing what to eat. Sure it tastes good, but what does it rhyme with?! People are going to think I’m some sorta dumb loser if I’m not throwin out catchphrases about my lunch!

I like that Wendy’s commercial where that guy is embarrassed that he can’t make cool rhymes with his egg salad like the people eating ciabattas. I don’t know about you but that’s one of the most important factors when I’m choosing what to eat. Sure it tastes good, but what does it rhyme with?! People are going to think I’m some sorta dumb loser if I’m not throwin out catchphrases about my lunch!

Things I Always Wanted to Learn to Do but Never Took the Initiative To
-break dance-kung-fu-play the guitar
I’m still alive though right? Still have a lot of life ahead of me (hopefully), I can still become the raddest break-dancing kung-fu guitarist.
That sounds like it would be a really cool Streets of Rage character. Do you  young people know what Streets of Rage is?
Does anybody own the film rights to Streets of Rage? I want to write that script. It’s going to be very faithful to the game though, 2 hours of a guy walking down the street beating up groups of identical twin punks, kicking over trash cans to find whole turkeys and instead of eating them just squatting over them and magically absorbing the nutrients.
Alright. Good talk.

Things I Always Wanted to Learn to Do but Never Took the Initiative To

-break dance
-kung-fu
-play the guitar

I’m still alive though right? Still have a lot of life ahead of me (hopefully), I can still become the raddest break-dancing kung-fu guitarist.

That sounds like it would be a really cool Streets of Rage character. Do you  young people know what Streets of Rage is?

Does anybody own the film rights to Streets of Rage? I want to write that script. It’s going to be very faithful to the game though, 2 hours of a guy walking down the street beating up groups of identical twin punks, kicking over trash cans to find whole turkeys and instead of eating them just squatting over them and magically absorbing the nutrients.

Alright. Good talk.

Just been watching hella Property Brothers on HGTV and mentally designing the dream home I won’t be able to afford for several several years. I’m seriously obsessed with this show, like I spent a whole day doing nothing but watching Property Brothers on DVR. This is how you become an old person isn’t it?

Just been watching hella Property Brothers on HGTV and mentally designing the dream home I won’t be able to afford for several several years. I’m seriously obsessed with this show, like I spent a whole day doing nothing but watching Property Brothers on DVR. This is how you become an old person isn’t it?